I wake up.
I brush my teeth and stare at my image in the mirror.
Am I too fat? No.
Too skinny? No.
Too soft? No.
Too old? No.
Am I not worthy...? I used to think "yes"...
I used to push things away just because I couldn't reach them perfectly.
"If I can't make it happen in an instant, or better and quicker than anyone else then it makes me uninteresting and unworthy to be better than others."
My goals were to reach a better ME but they were reflections of other humans and other lifes.
Did I think this way about everything? Of course not. But those small moments when I thought less of myself just to give space to others...
(Space? What fxcking space and Who are these others? !)
...when I left my parking brake on just to "help" others feel better about their crappy choices, I actually kept shutting the door in front of my own face.
I didn't do it often but doing it even once a year would fxck up my personal life for weeks...
As I think back, and I hate this, I've done more wrong to myself than anyone else could ever have accomplished.
I am my own worst enemy...
Thankfully I'm also my own best friend and Maker.
I reflect everything and I absorb anything that comes my way. Some of it sticks to me and I use it in my life and some bounce right off or get ripped off if I find it unusable.
So back to the top... about being worthy.
Even asking that question now is an insult from me to me. :)
The Right questions must be asked, YES. But at the same time the unnecessary questions can be dropped.
Am I worthy? Yes. Move on.
But then what are the right WORDS to say to myself in the morning?
"Words have power." I heard it several times this Friday. And even though this is one of the things I do remember, I don't use it as much as I need to. (Sorry Bruce. I must be the slowest learner on this planet... but thanks for kicking me around every now and then.)
The right words help to push you forward. The right words let you express yourself and they allow you to live successfully before you've even started.
So don't say:"I Should read that book so I'll learn from it." or "I Should do this diet so I'll get leaner and look/feel better."
Instead of motivating yourself with promises of a better future why not motivate yourself with a promise of a better life right Now...
"I Want to read that book."
"I want to do this diet."
And do it.