Sunday, September 22, 2013

a bodybuilding cruise and some pulled pork

The cruise ship was BIG, wide and full of small shops, alleys, boutiques, cafes, restaurants (with weird themes like the Middle ages meets Star wars or Ireland meets Louisiana's alligator folk, uhhh?) I walked around and looked at all that trash that was being sold for nothing. Fake jewelry, plastic hats, posing trunks, bikini glue, self-tan products, protein bars…
I think we were coming from Sweden and going to Finland. Most of the people around me looked like bodybuilders. Naked bodybuilders… they were drying off their tans in the corridors and they didn't look like they were in ANY kind of a hurry! Even some of the really big guys were still just getting their first spraying. They won't move for an hour now? What's with these people?

All of the short BB-girls were short haired and had girlfriend with them. They had a glow in their eyes like they got a ticket to nirvana. I saw a lot of tattoos on men and skinny females with empty coffee cups in their hands running around to find a refill. The noise of the people and music, the splash of colorful clothes and shops were almost painful for me. I needed a break.

 I stopped at a restaurant that looked good enough for my diet and ordered "a small pig on a plate". I thought it meant that I would get a piece of pork with dressing and a salad. Maybe a potato or two. No. I got a fanfare of dancing goblins and flute music. They brought a whole pig (a very LONG pig) to the table. It was skewered from nose to tail and took most of my table space. It smelled YUMMY! I just looked at it and wondered if the meat would fall of the bones or could I bite in to it like in Asterix… oih :P They bought another pig in. It was like the first one but it had been breaded and still had some curly hair on its head. The man (who looked more like a character from a Robin Hood movie) sang out loud and nailed the pig to the wall behind me. He kept singing the same song: "Eat Emilay, eat Emilay. I will write her name down for all to see. Eat Emilay, eat Emilay. She is the pig that died…" something like that… spooky. He had a plank under the pig; it had writing carved on it. I couldn't read it (some kind of a freaky goblin language) but he started taking some of the carvings off with a small axe. I guess he tried to leave only the name of the pig there, but he did a horrible job of mostly just fu**ing up the nice plank… :/

I didn't have time to eat the pig 'cause we were at port already. Some of the guests had already started to drag their bags off the ship.

 I can't believe that I still forget to eat every now and then in my dreams. Ähh…

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