I found out I was pregnant, again. One month in, I guess... I asked my girl friend if it was OK that we didn't build a house this time. She said:
- yeah babe. Of course it's ok that we don't build a house. What did you think ...that people build houses every time they have kids?
I love her <3
* * *
But later on she told me that we can't wait 9 months. The baby has to be ready in 6 months or not at all. I wasn't sure what to think about to that.
We sat on a park bench and watched other girls (8 months preg.) walk briskly by, pushing their kids in strollers and their big bellies jumped up and down as they (so the dream told me) "got mentally ready for their next delivery". Gosh they looked like they were going to kill a pig bare handed... (they were so-oo angry)
I felt sick. I knew I had had a cider two days ago and I wondered if it was a reason enough to abort.
And then she said it...
My beloved girl friend told me:
- honey, we need to move. Not just away from here... we need to move away from each other.
WTF?!
Friday, May 31, 2019
Thursday, March 8, 2018
I fell in love with a homeless guy... and then this happened.
The Book
The homeless guy had nothing. Nothing to be proud of. No real education, no ex-wife, no kids, no fucked up career, no shelter, no dog, no nothing. He was clearly useless. No one even looked at him as they passed him in the street. He was used to it. It even looked like he wanted it that way. To be invisible. Unseen but still alive. For some reason he never seemed to try hard at anything.
I had been keeping an eye on him for months now. I wanted to be sure he was a nobody and that he would not be missed...
I was the one who gave him the Book.
The pages are only 2 x 3 inches big. It's about 1 inch thick and the writing is big. It carries about 5 sentences on a page and the left side is always blank. The pages are very thin. It resembles a bible in many ways but it's not a bible. It's the Book.
I don't know when the homeless guy opened it but I saw him reading it the week after. It had him. The Book does that to you at first. You eat its words and you can't put it down. Remarkably the pages don't run out after you get to the middle and the book just keeps giving and giving. Good advice after another and they all come true. Even the really wild ones like:
“Go stand in front of the Crescent hotel tomorrow morning at 7 am. Hold out your hand when the man in the gray hat walks by. Let him see your eyes.”
The guy tried it for fun and ended up with a room with a view at the hotel. He got a full year's stay just by holding his hand out. He could order anything from room service and he got the clothes to match his residence. A lady comes in every day to clean his suite and every Friday he gets a ride to any movie theater or classic theater as well as the tickets to the show. He can live like the rich man who gave him the key to his room.
Weeks flew by and he lived without fear of getting mugged or feeling bored. He read the Book every now and then but it never seemed to move on. Some times he only got poems or randomly written thoughts to read, and sometimes he got weather news or reminders to take brisk morning walks. The pages turned but every day the book opened from the middle. The stories the book told were often fun and entertaining. He even met a woman, an actress, in a restaurant one Friday night. She seemed wonderful and real. A small town girl with the whole world as her play ground. He felt that She could do anything if she just had a sponsor. She was talented and beautiful, not a dime in a dozen kind beautiful, but a Goddess, in his opinion. He loved the way her cheek bones shaped her face like a heart when she laughed. He felt bad that he couldn't help her out financially. He didn't get money out of his little book, it just led him to places and meet ups with the right people at the right time. After a night together with the woman he now loved, the book started to give him hints about movie roles and theater plays that were coming up. The woman went to the castings he told her to go to and she ended up getting 3 roles from which to choose from. She was so excited she couldn't hold it in anymore. She told my homeless guy that she had a feeling about him from the first time they met, no actually just before he came to her view, that something Great is about to happen and that she should follow her intuition without fail. The woman fell deeply in love with the man in just a few days after they had met.
Weeks rolled by, life was easy and safe, success after success followed the man when ever he did exactly what and the book wanted. But one night as he was reading his little book of magic, it changed its tone. He was sitting by the window late one night, his girlfriend was already in bed and as he turned the page slowly, like he had turned it hundreds of times already, he saw writing on the page that shocked him deeply. It warned the man about reading to the end. His body stiffened up like he had just been electrocuted, his palms got sweaty and he felt nauseous. He looked around the room quickly. Everything was just like it had been a moment ago. Nothing had changed but he felt like the temperature in the room had dropped to freezing. He yelled out to his girlfriend and there was a small hint of panic in his voice. He got no answer so he yelled again, but was not able to stand up from his comfortable seat. He felt like he was nailed to it. His girlfriend came to the door and asked:
- "Honey, are you alright? You sounded worried..."
- "I'm OK babe. I just wanted to hear your voice." He lied as well as he could, but he was clearly sweating and out of breath.
- "OK hon' but are you coming to bed soon? I'm almost asleep already and you know I sleep really deeply when I'm with you..." She gave him a smiling nod to follow her to the bedroom and floated back to their bed. She hadn't felt anything weird. She was simply living her fantasy life.
He got up, closed the book fearing that it might give him a clear warning to not do something. He just decided to trust that everything was alright and that nothing bad would happen tonight. He hadn't been this afraid in years. Never on the street had anything this dramatic hit him in the face. He had been a nobody, safe from the cruel world. But now, with so much to lose, he felt fear and weakness. He didn't wan't to leave the love of his life, he didn't want to show her his true form... a homeless nobody with nothing to his name. If he had been alone and if he hadn't found her, he could just throw the book in the channel, he could just go back to where he had always been, but not now. He had to see this through. It was something he had never done before, sacrifice himself for someone else. Plan after plan to get HER out of this mess as gently as possible coursed his mind as he lied awake that night.
The next morning he hadn't forgotten the fears he had felt last night but he did feel more secure about his decision to keep his girlfriend safe though all this. He got a hot shower, shaved his beard, had a light breakfast and went for a walk in the park. He took the book with him like he had always done before, found a good bench under an oak tree and opened the book. He read a few pages. Poems, thoughts and weather news again. Nothing that felt like a warning to finish the book. Had he dreamt it all? Sometimes in the beginning he had fallen asleep in the street while reading the book and woken up when he dropped it from his hands. He got worried then that he might lose it so he forced himself to only read it in the daytime.
Weeks passed and the book warned him now and then to not finish reading it. Often the message read:
“Something unthinkable will happen...”
The man started having nightmares, got stomach aches and he was afraid to read anymore than one page per week. He knew he had to read something, the book said so. But one morning he woke up and it looked like the book only had a few pages left on it.
“Oh my god.”
The man feared for his life and the life he thought he could have had with his actress. He thought about calling her to say goodbye but what would he say when she asked why he was leaving and where?
With trembling hands he opened the book that week and read a page every day. He thought it would be best to end this quickly. The book stayed with him, pages kept turning and it didn't end, but it kept talking about the end being “hard” and that “everything would change”.
The next week his girlfriend had her big opening night at the local theater. She was starring in a play about a homeless man finding a book that changed his life. Her opening words were:
“The homeless guy had nothing. Nothing to be proud of...”
He sat in the audience through it all and cried. He was so proud of her. Her curly red hair shone like a crown on around her face. Her voice carried across the theater floor and sounded to him like an angel singing. She had found her calling. She was living her dream life up there in the stage lights ans she clearly looked Free. Free form all agony and fear, free from betrail and hurt. He wanted her to have just That! He wanted her to keep flying higher and higher and never look back. He was now determined to do everything in his power to keep her up there. Away from poverty and sickness. Away from the life on the streets, that he feared was going to happen to him all over again. As he watched the play and saw many areas of it resemble his life in so many ways, he wondered if this beautiful actress had actually been keeping and eye on him for much longer that they had been together. Everything just fell so perfectly together. The story, the characters, the fear of losing ones mind and then ones life... He pushed these thoughts to the side and felt around his front pocket. The book was still there. He almost pulled it out to just have a glance of the next page, but just then she looked straight at him from the stage with open, loving eyes and she made that small, almost invisible nod, with her head that meant she loved him. She had taught him this little nod in the time they had been together and he felt like he was the luckiest man alive since it was a nod only he could read.
He pulled his empty hand out of his pocket and felt love for her with all his body and soul. For the first time in a long time he felt truly relaxed. He gave in to the feeling of just going with the flow and not worrying about the outcome. He loved his beautiful redhead and he would give his life for her if that would keep her safe from what ever bad was coming to him from reading the little book. And just then, in a blick of an eye, the book turned to stone in his pocket. Its pages could no longer turn and the stories would no longer be read. The man could not feel anything more than a heavy, smooth piece of stone in his pocket. It was over. He was free from the book and free to live however he wanted. His real life had now reached its clarity. He KNEW his calling. As the play ended and everybody left the theater, he waited at the side of the stage for his loved one, and as he stood there he felt a lightness in his heart. Like a lie had been wiped away for good. He felt forgiven and happy. The side door opened and there she was, smiling and happy. Eyes full of love and clarity.
- "Did you like it, love?"
- "Yes. It was different than what I had thought, but what it did to me was even better than what I could have ever imagined... this might sound strange, but Thank you, honey. Thank you for everything."
The man sure looked like he had just ran a marathon. Poor thing. He is so lovable and pure. He has never hurt anyone but he has carried the weight of the world on his shoulders for no good reason. It was my gift to him to let him see that and then choose for himself. We kissed like lovers who haven't seen each other for a long time. My beautiful homeless guy and I.
Miia Hämäläinen
miia@sheisaleader.com
www.sheisaleader.com
Tuesday, December 19, 2017
YOU CAN'T GET IT WRONG AND YOU'LL NEVER GET IT DONE
So being, you never get it wrong since you'll never be finished... how wonderful is it to know that! I felt a huge relief when I realized that I'll never get it done NOR will I ever get it wrong since I'm never DONE anyhow. 🙂
What I coach to people (the HOW of it) is about being detached enough from the "problem" that you are trying to solve or overcome. Every time life gives you a reason to feel "I don't want this" or "I wish this wasn't so" you know exactly what you do not want and so being you also know exactly what you DO WANT (the solution).
As a coach, I can step back from the problem and not be engulfed in it. This is what I teach. That is how you will learn to "see glimpses" of the tangible solutions that you already have in your hands. You will learn to solve every problem you are focused upon and notice that you will stop finding and focusing on problems as much as you used to. Your life will become MUCH richer with JOY and good feelings. You will soon reach a new kind of freedom from unnecessary bondage, freedom from "what other people might think of you", freedom from "resisting happiness".
My main goal in coaching is to teach you the simple principles of HOW to be a "receiving station" to all the solutions you ever dreamed of. Basically, I will teach you to find the answers you seek within yourself. I will show you how everything is about walking on the EMOTIONAL path. This will not be hard for you since you are already an emotional being with a physical body, and as always, already on the path.
Everything I teach is about helping you reach high-quality emotional control over your life and I KNOW you can DO IT!
Love,
Miia
GET OVER IT! - How to improve Your Life
Thinking like a hungry actor
This is something that I have found in numerous places around the internet: Think like you were starting out in acting, you've finished your schools and now it's time to get work and NOW it gets hard...
Here are some of the action steps and facts you need to keep in mind:
- You are perfect and special and GOOD ENOUGH as you are. You do not owe the world (or anyone else) anything. Just like THEY DO NOT owe YOU anything. You may have gone to the best of schools or the worst of schools or something in the middle but that doesn't give you OR ANYONE ELSE the right to cut in line. THERE IS NO LINE! Just to mess with your mind a bit you are the only one in your niche, you are the only person in the car and you are the only fisher on the ice...
- You are in control of your mind. Every moment, every thought. Make 'em count! You must keep growing and the simple way to accept this is to think about every outcome as a result or feedback BUT NEVER the END or JUDGEMENT. You are here to enjoy your life so you should not make it worse by living a mediocre life.
- Believe in yourself but most of all KNOW THYSELF! The world will keep rotating and you will get older but no one is going to hold your hand and waste their life while you wait for your life to start happening to you. When you take the time to get to know yourself and use that knowledge to help others live their lives better, you add value to their lives, that is when the Universe will hear your thoughts about a better life and add value to your life, too. You see, you get everything you think about, whether you want it or not. So choose your thoughts wisely and only hang on to those that serve your cause.
- Make a decision and make it RIGHT. Put in the hard work and keep at it. Don't worry about the HOW. You will figure it out as you go since you have the WHOLE UNIVERSE helping you. Shortcuts and half-baked plans will emerge every now and then but don't get lured into those traps too often. Take every lesson you learn as a GOOD LESSON and keep at it. Live your dream and ACT AS IF you already were at the top of your game!
- Keep your mind in the game. Prepare for your game, test the product before launch, learn the script, wash the dog, bake the pizza before you serve it... whatever it is that you do, do it well and LOVE the journey. I know it's hard. I still make mistakes as I go and I'm grateful for them for I learn all the time and I get better and better... even when I thought I was ready, I'm not.
- You can not FAIL but you will fxck up a lot. Like I said: “I know it's hard...” and we all make mistakes, or so it seems. The bigger the mistake the bigger the lesson learned. Even if you have to start over from the beginning, it will be so much easier to get back to where you were since you already know HOW IT FEELS to be there. If you only fail in little ways and always ride the baby train in the fun park you'll never make it to the big league, you'll never marry the prom queen or score the winning goal... your life will always be “nice that you showed up.” So take risks and try new things! Learn everything you can from the experience and become the Greater You in the process.
- You have this one body (for now). So all you are as a physical person is here and now. You're never done learning until you die (the body dies) so keep at it. Keep learning and keep trying things out. New things, weird things, funny things. Have you tried yoga? Or Meditation? Do you know what a hot stone massage is? Give your body experiences and give your mind wonderful memories of the life you have here now. Did you know that as you add more happy memories to your mix of thoughts you actually live a happier life? How simple is that! The really happy people in this world are simply happier than others!
- Don't try to do this (or that, or THAT) alone. Surround yourself with people who you care about and who you admire and trust. You are YOU, yes, but pick your team carefully. When a person succeeds, so does everyone else on his/her team. Success is contagious! And that's a good thing.
- Choose your words well or shut up. Don't argue, have a banana instead. Don't point fingers and shovel more shit to the propeller. Stay humble, stay open to feedback and LEARN to get along. Often the best advice is to just let others be themselves and then walk away. Don't push on people and try to help those who can't take the help, just yet. We all have our own lives to live and some of us have less left than others. It can be stressful when you find that out or just start to look around at all the others “who seem to get it all for free so easily... lucky bastards!”So the big warp up here would be LISTEN TO YOUR WORDS especially the words you tell yourself. Listen to the stories you tell and if your life seems to be a mess or it needs improvement START TELLING BETTER STORIES. Put yourself to bed with the corrected version of the day you had. This could be one of the first steps in learning to live the life of your dreams.
What do you want out of your life? Are health and happiness enough? do you want to travel and experience the whole WORLD? Do you have a deadline? Shere your stories that you love telling yourself in the comment box or drop me a line! I love hearing from you guys! <3
Love,
Miia
The "RYAN REYNOLDS" abdominal workout for a GRRRREAT sixpack!
Ryan... mmm... I like you.
I can't believe sometimes HOW FREAKING EASY everything really is :D
Last year... I noticed that my abs were giving up on me (I spent most of my days in front of a laptop) and my belly was starting to droop and my glutes were starting to disappear and my guts felt like bamboo and my shoulders just wanted to pop off and run away.... in short: I was in pain from JUST sitting around and WORKING on some stupid s#it that had NOTHING to do with ME FEELING GOOD!
I noticed that my abs were giving up on me (I spent most of my days in front of a laptop) and my belly was starting to droop and my glutes were starting to disappear and my guts felt like bamboo and my shoulders just wanted to pop off and run away.... in short: I was in pain from JUST sitting around and WORKING on some stupid s#it that had NOTHING to do with ME FEELING GOOD! I knew I could change it around if I got up every 20 minutes and walked it off, but I didn't. (Stupid, stupid, stupid!)
I got worse. I got more tired and I just kept adjusting my seat and flexing (very little) and drank more coffee and tried to work HARDER and FASTER to get stuff done quicker so I could leave early. (Never worked. YOU CAN NOT get it all done... there's always MORE on its way)
(Never worked. YOU CAN NOT get it all done... there's always MORE on its way!)
So, in my hour of despair, I was surfing the interweb like I often did when I was looking for information on guns and ammo... and I came across a picture of Deadpool A.K.A. Ryan Reynolds.
"Hmm... he's nice. I wonder if.... OHH!?"
I noticed that as I was looking at his picture...
I sat straight and pulled my belly in and relaxed my shoulders and took a deeper breath and oooohhh... I felt so good :) I felt like I would feel if he walked into the office <3
So from then on, I started acting like THAT when ANYONE came into the office :)
My general well being pretty much skyrocketed just from visualizing Ryan in my office several times a day AND my physical well being took a sharp turn for the Better!
... and I won't even mention the feedback I got from some people just from my super happy excitement when THEY walked in to "disturb" me :D
Hahaa! It's the little things you know :)
It's the little Ryans all over this planet that make us better and stronger every day :)
So from now on, choose your "Ryan" and let him help you get your abs in check. Several times a day ;)
If you feel like letting us know YOUR secrets to tighter abs "the natural way", leave a comment below and share your love :)
Miia
I can't believe sometimes HOW FREAKING EASY everything really is :D
Last year... I noticed that my abs were giving up on me (I spent most of my days in front of a laptop) and my belly was starting to droop and my glutes were starting to disappear and my guts felt like bamboo and my shoulders just wanted to pop off and run away.... in short: I was in pain from JUST sitting around and WORKING on some stupid s#it that had NOTHING to do with ME FEELING GOOD!
I noticed that my abs were giving up on me (I spent most of my days in front of a laptop) and my belly was starting to droop and my glutes were starting to disappear and my guts felt like bamboo and my shoulders just wanted to pop off and run away.... in short: I was in pain from JUST sitting around and WORKING on some stupid s#it that had NOTHING to do with ME FEELING GOOD! I knew I could change it around if I got up every 20 minutes and walked it off, but I didn't. (Stupid, stupid, stupid!)
I got worse. I got more tired and I just kept adjusting my seat and flexing (very little) and drank more coffee and tried to work HARDER and FASTER to get stuff done quicker so I could leave early. (Never worked. YOU CAN NOT get it all done... there's always MORE on its way)
(Never worked. YOU CAN NOT get it all done... there's always MORE on its way!)
So, in my hour of despair, I was surfing the interweb like I often did when I was looking for information on guns and ammo... and I came across a picture of Deadpool A.K.A. Ryan Reynolds.
"Hmm... he's nice. I wonder if.... OHH!?"
I noticed that as I was looking at his picture...
I sat straight and pulled my belly in and relaxed my shoulders and took a deeper breath and oooohhh... I felt so good :) I felt like I would feel if he walked into the office <3
So from then on, I started acting like THAT when ANYONE came into the office :)
My general well being pretty much skyrocketed just from visualizing Ryan in my office several times a day AND my physical well being took a sharp turn for the Better!
... and I won't even mention the feedback I got from some people just from my super happy excitement when THEY walked in to "disturb" me :D
Hahaa! It's the little things you know :)
It's the little Ryans all over this planet that make us better and stronger every day :)
So from now on, choose your "Ryan" and let him help you get your abs in check. Several times a day ;)
If you feel like letting us know YOUR secrets to tighter abs "the natural way", leave a comment below and share your love :)
Miia
The Path of Least Resistance - it's 2 am and the toddler WILL NOT SLEEP
Some nights can be a struggle... or they can be a softly drawn squirmy line in the canvas of childhood memories that feel like pure love and appreciation.
-blaah-
Our son has decided to start waking up at 1 am. He sneaks into our bedroom, crawls into our bed, and "kicks us in the gut and slaps our faces." He's an active sleeper, I guess?
Last week I decided to try something different than just painfully sleeping and waiting for the morning to come and rescue us. I didn't act instantly, though, so the first hour he just had fun with us - meaning that he constantly borrowed my pillow, used my face as his "thigh holder", scraped my nail polish off and combed my hair with his fists. All while fully asleep. Eventually, I helped him nicely and gently back to his room, gave him something to drink and read a book to him. I held his hand as he slowly started to drift back to dreamland... and 2 hours later my back was killing me, I had to use the bathroom or risk peeing in his bed (that would make a funny story) and I was really feeling a lot of resistance to hanging around kiddo's room at 4 am... I was curled up on his bed, wearing nothing but my undies (because I like sleeping light). I got up, sneaked out, used the toilet like a ninja and went back to our big, warm -mmmm I love that warm bed- BED.
2 minutes later I heard kiddo's bedroom door hit the wall, little footsteps coming our way, and yes, there he was, ready to start all over again. He even had the nerve to close our bedroom door behind him, kind of like sealing the deal... "I'm here to stay, mom and dad, so you better get used to it."
-yawn-
So why do I choose to do things slowly? Why don't I just "rip the bandaid right off" and feel a little bad -for a long time- about not being appreciated as a mother and a human being with needs (like uninterrupted sleep), and demand that he grows up and sleeps through the night? Why was I, correction, HOW was I able to keep my cool and stay focused on his (and my) happiness for 3 hours in the middle of the most enjoyable dream phase, while his dad and my wonderful partner slept like a baby in our big, warm, comfy bed... He didn't remember anything in the morning. I love him for tht, too. He just opened his eyes to a wonderful new day and loved seeing the both of us near him as he woke up.
Yeah - HOW do I manage to see the positive side in all of this? Like my husband and our son does ;)
Here's the WHY (the HOW will fill itself in later):
- I love kiddo. He's very close to me. Even genetically ;)
- I love my feelings. I will not choose a bad feeling thought if I'm awake enough to see the difference.
- I love other people and I KNOW that nothing needs to change in them, I simply choose to change my own perception to a more positive one. And I understand that by looking at things and people and moments in a better way I can change the course of my history by having nicer memories. Even though, in this specific example, I did need to keep choosing a nicer and nicer thought every minute. AND I couldn't expect things to happen NOW but I could trust that eventually things will be OK and I will get my rest.
Here's a better picture about HOW I kept my cool and HOW you too can choose better-feeling thoughts unconditionally:
- kiddo keeps kicking me in the face as he sleeps: I love his little feet and turn my back to him for a free massage (I'm not kidding, I do this all the time, he gets to walk all over me in the evening on the living room carpet)
- kiddo keeps stealing my pillow; I love his energy and will to keep building and enhancing his own comfort zone. I have another pillow so we can share.
- kiddo wants to hold my hand until he falls asleep (this can take up to 30 minutes sometimes): I let him hold my hand, it's no the end of the world to have these moments with him and to share his happiness as he drifts off to la-la-land. Anything is possible when you truly love somebody. Besides, it feels good to have him close at this age. This will all end at some point and he'll move out and have his own family. I'm not making him sad or hurt by offering my time to him now. :)
So, do I intend to just keep this up? Keep letting kiddo storm out bedroom every night until he moves out or joins the Navy? No. Of course not. But I will not try to solve this problem by focusing on "my lack of sleep" or "kiddo's lack of rules".
I will, however, solve this PROJECT by focusing on "how good it feels when I get all the rest I need" and "how good it feels to see kiddo wake up and crawl out of his own bed with his cute little toddler hair" (he won't let us cut it, he looks like someTHING out of the 80's, but that's a whole other blog post).
Now this is very important!
Focusing on the POSITIVE even when it's still not here yet, WILL bring it here a lot sooner than focusing on the lack of that which I need to have.
It is MUCH easier to be inspired and joyfully experiment on ideas that come from that good feeling place, than the place of lack and discomfort.
Everything will eventually be OK and kiddo (just like the rest of us) are always on our path. There is never any action that I really NEED to do to change the situation at hand to make it better, forever. Energy is always in motion and therefore I choose to let my action steps come from the positive side of my mind. Any action that comes from pain or hurt or other bad feelings will only emphasize the pain and sorrow that already exists.
Life gives us plenty of contrast every day, and we change for the better as we face those hurdles and sand pits :)
Kiddo is doing everything right and he is teaching me to become better in the process. There, already the perfect reason to love him even more.
What problems could YOU change into projects today?
Do YOU feel a sensation of ease as you take yourself out of the picture and simply ask:"How would this FEEL if it went differently?"
Keep living the good life,
Miia
-blaah-
Our son has decided to start waking up at 1 am. He sneaks into our bedroom, crawls into our bed, and "kicks us in the gut and slaps our faces." He's an active sleeper, I guess?
Last week I decided to try something different than just painfully sleeping and waiting for the morning to come and rescue us. I didn't act instantly, though, so the first hour he just had fun with us - meaning that he constantly borrowed my pillow, used my face as his "thigh holder", scraped my nail polish off and combed my hair with his fists. All while fully asleep. Eventually, I helped him nicely and gently back to his room, gave him something to drink and read a book to him. I held his hand as he slowly started to drift back to dreamland... and 2 hours later my back was killing me, I had to use the bathroom or risk peeing in his bed (that would make a funny story) and I was really feeling a lot of resistance to hanging around kiddo's room at 4 am... I was curled up on his bed, wearing nothing but my undies (because I like sleeping light). I got up, sneaked out, used the toilet like a ninja and went back to our big, warm -mmmm I love that warm bed- BED.
2 minutes later I heard kiddo's bedroom door hit the wall, little footsteps coming our way, and yes, there he was, ready to start all over again. He even had the nerve to close our bedroom door behind him, kind of like sealing the deal... "I'm here to stay, mom and dad, so you better get used to it."
-yawn-
So why do I choose to do things slowly? Why don't I just "rip the bandaid right off" and feel a little bad -for a long time- about not being appreciated as a mother and a human being with needs (like uninterrupted sleep), and demand that he grows up and sleeps through the night? Why was I, correction, HOW was I able to keep my cool and stay focused on his (and my) happiness for 3 hours in the middle of the most enjoyable dream phase, while his dad and my wonderful partner slept like a baby in our big, warm, comfy bed... He didn't remember anything in the morning. I love him for tht, too. He just opened his eyes to a wonderful new day and loved seeing the both of us near him as he woke up.
Yeah - HOW do I manage to see the positive side in all of this? Like my husband and our son does ;)
Here's the WHY (the HOW will fill itself in later):
- I love kiddo. He's very close to me. Even genetically ;)
- I love my feelings. I will not choose a bad feeling thought if I'm awake enough to see the difference.
- I love other people and I KNOW that nothing needs to change in them, I simply choose to change my own perception to a more positive one. And I understand that by looking at things and people and moments in a better way I can change the course of my history by having nicer memories. Even though, in this specific example, I did need to keep choosing a nicer and nicer thought every minute. AND I couldn't expect things to happen NOW but I could trust that eventually things will be OK and I will get my rest.
Here's a better picture about HOW I kept my cool and HOW you too can choose better-feeling thoughts unconditionally:
- kiddo keeps kicking me in the face as he sleeps: I love his little feet and turn my back to him for a free massage (I'm not kidding, I do this all the time, he gets to walk all over me in the evening on the living room carpet)
- kiddo keeps stealing my pillow; I love his energy and will to keep building and enhancing his own comfort zone. I have another pillow so we can share.
- kiddo wants to hold my hand until he falls asleep (this can take up to 30 minutes sometimes): I let him hold my hand, it's no the end of the world to have these moments with him and to share his happiness as he drifts off to la-la-land. Anything is possible when you truly love somebody. Besides, it feels good to have him close at this age. This will all end at some point and he'll move out and have his own family. I'm not making him sad or hurt by offering my time to him now. :)
So, do I intend to just keep this up? Keep letting kiddo storm out bedroom every night until he moves out or joins the Navy? No. Of course not. But I will not try to solve this problem by focusing on "my lack of sleep" or "kiddo's lack of rules".
I will, however, solve this PROJECT by focusing on "how good it feels when I get all the rest I need" and "how good it feels to see kiddo wake up and crawl out of his own bed with his cute little toddler hair" (he won't let us cut it, he looks like someTHING out of the 80's, but that's a whole other blog post).
Now this is very important!
Focusing on the POSITIVE even when it's still not here yet, WILL bring it here a lot sooner than focusing on the lack of that which I need to have.
It is MUCH easier to be inspired and joyfully experiment on ideas that come from that good feeling place, than the place of lack and discomfort.
Everything will eventually be OK and kiddo (just like the rest of us) are always on our path. There is never any action that I really NEED to do to change the situation at hand to make it better, forever. Energy is always in motion and therefore I choose to let my action steps come from the positive side of my mind. Any action that comes from pain or hurt or other bad feelings will only emphasize the pain and sorrow that already exists.
Life gives us plenty of contrast every day, and we change for the better as we face those hurdles and sand pits :)
Kiddo is doing everything right and he is teaching me to become better in the process. There, already the perfect reason to love him even more.
What problems could YOU change into projects today?
Do YOU feel a sensation of ease as you take yourself out of the picture and simply ask:"How would this FEEL if it went differently?"
Keep living the good life,
Miia
Pooping in the sauna - did I just have a melt down?
Last week kiddo and I were home alone for the night... I fired up the sauna and as we waited for it to warm up we played in the living room (board games and puzzles), and kiddo kept farting like a silent, over fed ninja. Horrible.
Our sauna is pretty small. It's a 3 seater (or you can fit 4 small adults there but usually it's nicer to have some private space while naked and stuffed into a hot room) so there's lots of room for a small female and a 2,5 year old. I had some problems with the wood (some of it was still wet and snowy) so I rushed naked to the garage to get some more cardboard paper to keep the fire alive and burning on all sectors. I cut my right index finger (my best finger!) while ripping the paper and ended up having a really hard time (suddenly) using just the rest 9 to wash off my makeup... at that time I smelled it. Poop.
"Did you fart again, honey?" I asked. Kiddo had climbed to the top of the sauna and sat there looking like he didn't know what to say. I saw he had a big turd between his legs. "Oh, honey... Mummy will clean it up."
I lifted him out from the sauna -half blind from the makeup remover- and turned him around so I could clean his butt easier. I couldn't clean him in the shower 'cause it was stuffed with bath toys and the bath was just filling up for the baby.
So there I was, poop and wood chips and shit and stuff all over my hands and favourite finger, eyes watering and burning... Water running, poop smelling in the -soon to be- hot sauna and kiddo kept yanking on his penis.
Well. Long story short... this was not the end.
I did clean the sauna. The smell disappeared and kiddo climbed back up there to play with his water pistol (not his penis… why did I even write this?). I washed my hands, got the bath ready, wonderred if I should put a towel over my hair while in the sauna, and then I smelled it. Poop.
De ja vu, or whatever.
"Did you poop again, honey?" I asked. Kiddo was sitting like a mermaid on the top of the sauna and smiled like a small puppy. I saw he had a little turd by his other leg. "Oh, honey... Mummy will clean it up."
And again:
Lift baby up, clean baby up, shit and dirt in my best finger’s wound, clean the sauna, the smell disappears in minutes (or maybe we just got used to it, oh my gosh) and get back to whatever we were doing... bathing? Gosh...
So here is the moral of the story (if you're not too grossed out by it already and have moved on to google "Finns in sauna" videos by now):
- First: there is always a way to proceed happily in any moment of your life. If you chose to freeze and do nothing the world would simply leave you behind. So take action through inspiration to help everyone! Do not throw blame around or get angry about the past. The past is not HERE. You are. So choose to help and you shall be helped too.
- Second: Smile. Little mistakes come and go and sometimes you're already a bit hurt (like my index finger - but that was my fault 'cause I hurried with the ripping of the cardboard). We had a wonderful time in the sauna and neither one of us felt like we needed to talk or even laugh about the pooping that night. It was a funny story, but that's all. (I am SO telling when I meet his best girlfriend - or boyfriend)
About my other topic: "Did I just have a melt down"
I had a horrible end of the week. By horrible I mean I couldn't reach clarity or happiness for some reason. HOnestly, I felt depressed (and that is a BIG FEELING)
Today, two days later, I am much wiser and I understand that several reasons affected those 1,5 days and gave me “reasons”to feel like I had lost all connection to my inner source.
One: my periods were right around the corner (this has been the “reason” so many times that I WILL do my best to fix it in the future! REmember. I get a chance to fix it once a month! Oh joy!)
Two: I had been forced to reschedule an appointment that I had been waiting for with MEga eager and Super delight… hmm, I guess I need to work on my Allowing more ;)
Three: I hadn’t been meditating in the morning for few days (I had pushed it to later in the day). Yeah… like I could be too busy at 6am to NOT meditate :D
My “melt down” looked like a very tired person trying to get up but constantly falling flat on her ass because she couldn’t understand/remember that “it is not in the ACTION, it is in the alignment with the source inside you, that matters, and gives you the power to get up and GO.” :)
I love learning and I enjoy living my life as a non-perfect person. I know that when I feel despair or remorse, I will always find my way back to Alignment. And I know that when I can’t seem to keep my hold on the better feeling thought, that it will get better as I LET GO of the oars and just allow the good to flow, no matter how slowly it would seem to turn my boat that day.
The one thing that eventually kicked me out of the dark last Friday was my ability to take some time for myself and just read about meditation. I didn’t even have time to meditate but I had time to read about the good things that happen when you meditate… and as I started feeling better, things started going better and I got happy again and I’ve been in bliss since then :)
We’ll see what Monday morning brings with it… I’m expecting wonderful things from that day :)
What do you expect from your days to come?
Miia
Our sauna is pretty small. It's a 3 seater (or you can fit 4 small adults there but usually it's nicer to have some private space while naked and stuffed into a hot room) so there's lots of room for a small female and a 2,5 year old. I had some problems with the wood (some of it was still wet and snowy) so I rushed naked to the garage to get some more cardboard paper to keep the fire alive and burning on all sectors. I cut my right index finger (my best finger!) while ripping the paper and ended up having a really hard time (suddenly) using just the rest 9 to wash off my makeup... at that time I smelled it. Poop.
"Did you fart again, honey?" I asked. Kiddo had climbed to the top of the sauna and sat there looking like he didn't know what to say. I saw he had a big turd between his legs. "Oh, honey... Mummy will clean it up."
I lifted him out from the sauna -half blind from the makeup remover- and turned him around so I could clean his butt easier. I couldn't clean him in the shower 'cause it was stuffed with bath toys and the bath was just filling up for the baby.
So there I was, poop and wood chips and shit and stuff all over my hands and favourite finger, eyes watering and burning... Water running, poop smelling in the -soon to be- hot sauna and kiddo kept yanking on his penis.
Well. Long story short... this was not the end.
I did clean the sauna. The smell disappeared and kiddo climbed back up there to play with his water pistol (not his penis… why did I even write this?). I washed my hands, got the bath ready, wonderred if I should put a towel over my hair while in the sauna, and then I smelled it. Poop.
De ja vu, or whatever.
"Did you poop again, honey?" I asked. Kiddo was sitting like a mermaid on the top of the sauna and smiled like a small puppy. I saw he had a little turd by his other leg. "Oh, honey... Mummy will clean it up."
And again:
Lift baby up, clean baby up, shit and dirt in my best finger’s wound, clean the sauna, the smell disappears in minutes (or maybe we just got used to it, oh my gosh) and get back to whatever we were doing... bathing? Gosh...
So here is the moral of the story (if you're not too grossed out by it already and have moved on to google "Finns in sauna" videos by now):
- First: there is always a way to proceed happily in any moment of your life. If you chose to freeze and do nothing the world would simply leave you behind. So take action through inspiration to help everyone! Do not throw blame around or get angry about the past. The past is not HERE. You are. So choose to help and you shall be helped too.
- Second: Smile. Little mistakes come and go and sometimes you're already a bit hurt (like my index finger - but that was my fault 'cause I hurried with the ripping of the cardboard). We had a wonderful time in the sauna and neither one of us felt like we needed to talk or even laugh about the pooping that night. It was a funny story, but that's all. (I am SO telling when I meet his best girlfriend - or boyfriend)
About my other topic: "Did I just have a melt down"
I had a horrible end of the week. By horrible I mean I couldn't reach clarity or happiness for some reason. HOnestly, I felt depressed (and that is a BIG FEELING)
Today, two days later, I am much wiser and I understand that several reasons affected those 1,5 days and gave me “reasons”to feel like I had lost all connection to my inner source.
One: my periods were right around the corner (this has been the “reason” so many times that I WILL do my best to fix it in the future! REmember. I get a chance to fix it once a month! Oh joy!)
Two: I had been forced to reschedule an appointment that I had been waiting for with MEga eager and Super delight… hmm, I guess I need to work on my Allowing more ;)
Three: I hadn’t been meditating in the morning for few days (I had pushed it to later in the day). Yeah… like I could be too busy at 6am to NOT meditate :D
My “melt down” looked like a very tired person trying to get up but constantly falling flat on her ass because she couldn’t understand/remember that “it is not in the ACTION, it is in the alignment with the source inside you, that matters, and gives you the power to get up and GO.” :)
I love learning and I enjoy living my life as a non-perfect person. I know that when I feel despair or remorse, I will always find my way back to Alignment. And I know that when I can’t seem to keep my hold on the better feeling thought, that it will get better as I LET GO of the oars and just allow the good to flow, no matter how slowly it would seem to turn my boat that day.
The one thing that eventually kicked me out of the dark last Friday was my ability to take some time for myself and just read about meditation. I didn’t even have time to meditate but I had time to read about the good things that happen when you meditate… and as I started feeling better, things started going better and I got happy again and I’ve been in bliss since then :)
We’ll see what Monday morning brings with it… I’m expecting wonderful things from that day :)
What do you expect from your days to come?
Miia
You only have to make two decisions in 2017… read on
https://youtu.be/bisLbbBB9S4
Calendar years come and go. There is no Magic in the changing of the years unless you put it there for Yourself. The same goes for your physical age and the amount of times you have circled the Sun… Your life is always happening FOR YOU. And you are the only one living Your life. Realize that and feel the power of those words.
I know that sometimes life shows you contrast on TV or something bad and sad happens to you or a close friend/family member. That contrast is necessary in order for you to know what is wanted and what is unwanted. Every problem has a solution to it. Some have more than one and that is the wonderful side of creation in our lives. Whether the doors in your life are closing or opening is not a punishment in your life for doing things wrong or doing things too slowly. I want you to realize that the door (you believe you missed) had to have first been open before it could close… other wise I would just be talking about walls or open doors here.
I’m not saying that bad things have to happen to you in order for you to have a more fulfilling life. What I am saying is that when life throws you off the side (often you were asking for it anyway) and you find yourself swimming to shore, and the sharks are circling around you… You need to focus on the POSITIVE SIDES of the conditions if you can not already laugh it off by being totally unconditional about it!
Most of the time when you make decisions (or choose your thoughts regarding something important) you use them like any random thoughts about the future. Dreams and hopes about being happier when “whatever it is that you want“ comes to you. You basically promise to be good AFTER you get the candy.
There is no reality other than which is perceived (You create Your reality). When you choose thoughts AND feelings that reflect the world as you wish it to be (for you) you WILL see it. You will be/do/have that thing you so clearly desire. But if you wait for the world to first change and THEN promise to have the good thoughts and the nice feelings to enjoy it, then you are doing it the wrong way!
So what I want to say to you is...
There are only two decisions that I believe you need to make in order to make 2017 extremely enjoyable and abundant. You can make more inspired decisions and write them down if you want to. Or drop the other one off if you are not feeling it… do whatever you FEEL is the best choice for you, and keep doing it every day from now on:
I CAN always choose a better feeling thought in any and every moment of my life. By choosing the better feeling thought I choose to follow my inner being and I let my Emotions guide me because I believe that that is the path of least resistance. By staying on the path of least resistance I also choose to allow all the good to flow to me and through me.
My power is in the NOW, in this moment. I can think about the past and I can think about the future but I am doing those things NOW, in the same conscious moment that I share with everyone else on this planet. So in this moment, where my strongest power lives, I choose the better feeling thought to really milk this good feeling moment... or to move the feelings of this moment to a better feeling direction, and then - as I am there - I can choose another better feeling thought and another better feeling thought and another...
By living unconditionally and loving unconditionally you will reach JOY and HAPPINESS and you will feel FREEDOM and GROWTH in your everyday life. Personally, I prefer amplifying this FEELING OF JOY by retreating to meditation twice a day. I encourage you to do the same and to really focus on quieting your thoughts for a few minutes every day. The results from clearing your mind are astonishing! You MUST live it to believe it, and as you start to use meditation or just deep breathing in a quiet room you WILL never want to quit this new habit. :)
As you start your 2017 in “the better feeling thoughts” -mode you will find yourself attracted to new books, blogs, places, happenings and people. You will find your new, more positive way of life expanding outside of your body and your connections with other people (who are like you) will become stronger and the connections to negative people will either wither or die.
I promise you that by choosing the better feeling thoughts in every moment of your life you WILL notice that the things you have wanted for a very long time are now getting closer and closer, and that you did not have to DO anything to get them. You simply felt good already and the good you have been asking for is now coming to you.
Try it out and see for yourself. There is NO HARM in feeling good. :)
Love,
Miia
Calendar years come and go. There is no Magic in the changing of the years unless you put it there for Yourself. The same goes for your physical age and the amount of times you have circled the Sun… Your life is always happening FOR YOU. And you are the only one living Your life. Realize that and feel the power of those words.
I know that sometimes life shows you contrast on TV or something bad and sad happens to you or a close friend/family member. That contrast is necessary in order for you to know what is wanted and what is unwanted. Every problem has a solution to it. Some have more than one and that is the wonderful side of creation in our lives. Whether the doors in your life are closing or opening is not a punishment in your life for doing things wrong or doing things too slowly. I want you to realize that the door (you believe you missed) had to have first been open before it could close… other wise I would just be talking about walls or open doors here.
I’m not saying that bad things have to happen to you in order for you to have a more fulfilling life. What I am saying is that when life throws you off the side (often you were asking for it anyway) and you find yourself swimming to shore, and the sharks are circling around you… You need to focus on the POSITIVE SIDES of the conditions if you can not already laugh it off by being totally unconditional about it!
Most of the time when you make decisions (or choose your thoughts regarding something important) you use them like any random thoughts about the future. Dreams and hopes about being happier when “whatever it is that you want“ comes to you. You basically promise to be good AFTER you get the candy.
There is no reality other than which is perceived (You create Your reality). When you choose thoughts AND feelings that reflect the world as you wish it to be (for you) you WILL see it. You will be/do/have that thing you so clearly desire. But if you wait for the world to first change and THEN promise to have the good thoughts and the nice feelings to enjoy it, then you are doing it the wrong way!
So what I want to say to you is...
There are only two decisions that I believe you need to make in order to make 2017 extremely enjoyable and abundant. You can make more inspired decisions and write them down if you want to. Or drop the other one off if you are not feeling it… do whatever you FEEL is the best choice for you, and keep doing it every day from now on:
I CAN always choose a better feeling thought in any and every moment of my life. By choosing the better feeling thought I choose to follow my inner being and I let my Emotions guide me because I believe that that is the path of least resistance. By staying on the path of least resistance I also choose to allow all the good to flow to me and through me.
My power is in the NOW, in this moment. I can think about the past and I can think about the future but I am doing those things NOW, in the same conscious moment that I share with everyone else on this planet. So in this moment, where my strongest power lives, I choose the better feeling thought to really milk this good feeling moment... or to move the feelings of this moment to a better feeling direction, and then - as I am there - I can choose another better feeling thought and another better feeling thought and another...
By living unconditionally and loving unconditionally you will reach JOY and HAPPINESS and you will feel FREEDOM and GROWTH in your everyday life. Personally, I prefer amplifying this FEELING OF JOY by retreating to meditation twice a day. I encourage you to do the same and to really focus on quieting your thoughts for a few minutes every day. The results from clearing your mind are astonishing! You MUST live it to believe it, and as you start to use meditation or just deep breathing in a quiet room you WILL never want to quit this new habit. :)
As you start your 2017 in “the better feeling thoughts” -mode you will find yourself attracted to new books, blogs, places, happenings and people. You will find your new, more positive way of life expanding outside of your body and your connections with other people (who are like you) will become stronger and the connections to negative people will either wither or die.
I promise you that by choosing the better feeling thoughts in every moment of your life you WILL notice that the things you have wanted for a very long time are now getting closer and closer, and that you did not have to DO anything to get them. You simply felt good already and the good you have been asking for is now coming to you.
Try it out and see for yourself. There is NO HARM in feeling good. :)
Love,
Miia
Definition of Leadership
Everything is about influence. You can't help but be a leader when you are in alignment with yourself. You can't help but do a good job when you're aligned to doing a good job. You lead everyday... you just need to notice that the people and animals and dishes and laundry that you handle everyday is all about deliberately reaching for a better feeling thought, a better feeling place and a better feeling day.
Have you ever had an experience where you decided that you WANT TO LEAD and then you somehow lost your alignment, and then you couldn't find your placing or strong footing anymore. It must have felt like the monkeys all got out of the barrel, and you felt like you need to just shoot them?...
What I'm really getting at here is not taking a gun and shooting animals, or even people, but actually stepping back for a while... And actually stepping back BEFORE the "losing of your mojo" happens.
It's the same thing with DOUBT. The best time to get rid of it is BEFORE it gets you!
Now, you might think: "But how can any of this help me since I'm standing here, knees deep in monkeys and you say I should just think my way out of this..."
And I say: "...that is only half the truth."
I want you to realize that in your physical life you are the answer to all the questions you are asking. It is all inside you. You got yourself in the mess you are in (since there is no way anyone else was living in your body while the monkeys got out) and so being YOU are the answer to your problem.
I want you to focus on one thing for now:
Without you getting into trouble there would be no need to get out of it. And if you never learn new things there would be no expansion and there would be no creation.
You are the only person in your life who really needs to learn things and who really learns along the path (you are on). You are also the only person in your life who WANTS to learn and expand and create and LIVE.
:)
Leadership is already within you. You are a person who can BE, DO and HAVE anything she wants and needs. When you know yourself and you can choose the thoughts you want to think, and therefore manifest the feelings you want to feel, and SO CREATE the life you want to live... THEN and ONLY THEN can you be the leader You Want to have in Your Life.
True leadership must come from a being who is in alignment A being who knows that they are an important part of the eternal expansion of our Universe.
Drop me a line and tell me how you feel when you lead.
Is leadership a part of your everyday life?
Do you get inspired when you have a possibility to talk in font of people or lead them in some other way?
I love hearing from you,
Miia
Have you ever had an experience where you decided that you WANT TO LEAD and then you somehow lost your alignment, and then you couldn't find your placing or strong footing anymore. It must have felt like the monkeys all got out of the barrel, and you felt like you need to just shoot them?...
What I'm really getting at here is not taking a gun and shooting animals, or even people, but actually stepping back for a while... And actually stepping back BEFORE the "losing of your mojo" happens.
It's the same thing with DOUBT. The best time to get rid of it is BEFORE it gets you!
Now, you might think: "But how can any of this help me since I'm standing here, knees deep in monkeys and you say I should just think my way out of this..."
And I say: "...that is only half the truth."
I want you to realize that in your physical life you are the answer to all the questions you are asking. It is all inside you. You got yourself in the mess you are in (since there is no way anyone else was living in your body while the monkeys got out) and so being YOU are the answer to your problem.
I want you to focus on one thing for now:
Without you getting into trouble there would be no need to get out of it. And if you never learn new things there would be no expansion and there would be no creation.
You are the only person in your life who really needs to learn things and who really learns along the path (you are on). You are also the only person in your life who WANTS to learn and expand and create and LIVE.
:)
Leadership is already within you. You are a person who can BE, DO and HAVE anything she wants and needs. When you know yourself and you can choose the thoughts you want to think, and therefore manifest the feelings you want to feel, and SO CREATE the life you want to live... THEN and ONLY THEN can you be the leader You Want to have in Your Life.
True leadership must come from a being who is in alignment A being who knows that they are an important part of the eternal expansion of our Universe.
Drop me a line and tell me how you feel when you lead.
Is leadership a part of your everyday life?
Do you get inspired when you have a possibility to talk in font of people or lead them in some other way?
I love hearing from you,
Miia
Manifest your destiny – the nine spiritual principles for getting everything you want
Manifest your destiny – the nine spiritual principles for getting everything you want is a book by Wayne W. Dyer (1997)
These are my short notes from Wayne Dyer's book...
(my book is in Finnish so the notes may be different then the text in the original English book)
I love his literature. I eat it up and ask for more.
He passed away in 2015 – or moved on, or went back home… to me we never die. We just stop focusing on the physical world.
Oh, Wayne :) I listen to his words (on youtube) and read his books every week.
He has had his hands on my soul since the first time I saw him on TV in New Orleans. He literally nailed me to my sofa. I couldn't let go of him. He was this tall, sockless guy on TV and he spoke to my heart! :)
”Start by admitting that you were confused or failed.” Oh, I love this. START simple. START now. START with this: confusion and failure. Check! I've done them all! :D
”When you trust yourself you will not look for the answers to your life's problems outside of yourself...” Oh, yes! The problem and the answer is always within us. That's why so many people can't even understand why we HAVE problems. Here! In the Nordic countries! Problems? Impossible... :D
Let go and let the Universe handle it. You are a part of that Universe. You will handle this and all you need to do is: STOP doing that thing you do that's stopping you from solving this.
”We are all food for the future...” Yep... death is coming and then you'll body will be nothing but food for worms. So why not live NOW!? Have fun and enjoy your life by BEING HAPPY :)
”Release all resistance and you shall have what you (emotionally) desire...”
”Start living like you were already living the way you want to live.” This is so common sense that I need to tattoo it to my head. What do you think is the shortest and easiest path to Happiness in your life? Leave a commment below and let us know.
Don't hate yourself. It will only drop your ability to attract all those things that you want to have (even your happiness). There is no way around it: If you choose a path of resisting love and kindness, you will achieve a path of crap... create your life by caring about how you feel! Choose your thoughts and choose the GOOD feelings first.
You MUST apply the methods of choosing a better feeling thought and being nice to people. You can not achieve good things by only reading about being nice and kind. You must ACT IT OUT NOW.
When you are honest to yourself and you apply your inspiration to be and do good to others you shall gain a feeling of inner peace and that feeling is the manifestation of alignment... your inner being only wishes for this peace and joy for you. With this inner peace you shall also feel self worth. Freedom from fear.
”You make all the choices in your life.” You are the Master. So choose well.
”Unconditional love...” Oh wau. I loved this one. It really moved me and I read every word on those pages twice :)
”You do not love what your enemy did but you love the spirit that is inside the idiot that can't get anything done right...” (Finnish will just not translate easily today)
The perfect life is: coming to clarity about what you want.
At the end of the book Wayne teaches Sound Meditation. It's the method of using Aah and Umm sounds while meditating. I'm not sure if I can find a place in our house where I can test this in the morning and at night... I might sound like a cat in heat if I do it in the sauna?
But like I said earlier:
I listen to his words (on youtube) and read his books every week. Oh gosh.
Wayne Dyer is one of my most loved authors <3
The most important thing to me right now is the FEELING I have right now: I can always choose a better feeling thought :) So by (always) choosing a better feeling thought I can make my day into a forever expanding paradise as I just keep at it... and it’s not even hard. Feeling GOOD is not painful :)
Have you read his books, watched his videos or listened to his audios?
Share your inspirations with me!
Miia
miia@sheisaleader.com
These are my short notes from Wayne Dyer's book...
(my book is in Finnish so the notes may be different then the text in the original English book)
I love his literature. I eat it up and ask for more.
He passed away in 2015 – or moved on, or went back home… to me we never die. We just stop focusing on the physical world.
Oh, Wayne :) I listen to his words (on youtube) and read his books every week.
He has had his hands on my soul since the first time I saw him on TV in New Orleans. He literally nailed me to my sofa. I couldn't let go of him. He was this tall, sockless guy on TV and he spoke to my heart! :)
”Start by admitting that you were confused or failed.” Oh, I love this. START simple. START now. START with this: confusion and failure. Check! I've done them all! :D
”When you trust yourself you will not look for the answers to your life's problems outside of yourself...” Oh, yes! The problem and the answer is always within us. That's why so many people can't even understand why we HAVE problems. Here! In the Nordic countries! Problems? Impossible... :D
Let go and let the Universe handle it. You are a part of that Universe. You will handle this and all you need to do is: STOP doing that thing you do that's stopping you from solving this.
”We are all food for the future...” Yep... death is coming and then you'll body will be nothing but food for worms. So why not live NOW!? Have fun and enjoy your life by BEING HAPPY :)
”Release all resistance and you shall have what you (emotionally) desire...”
”Start living like you were already living the way you want to live.” This is so common sense that I need to tattoo it to my head. What do you think is the shortest and easiest path to Happiness in your life? Leave a commment below and let us know.
Don't hate yourself. It will only drop your ability to attract all those things that you want to have (even your happiness). There is no way around it: If you choose a path of resisting love and kindness, you will achieve a path of crap... create your life by caring about how you feel! Choose your thoughts and choose the GOOD feelings first.
You MUST apply the methods of choosing a better feeling thought and being nice to people. You can not achieve good things by only reading about being nice and kind. You must ACT IT OUT NOW.
When you are honest to yourself and you apply your inspiration to be and do good to others you shall gain a feeling of inner peace and that feeling is the manifestation of alignment... your inner being only wishes for this peace and joy for you. With this inner peace you shall also feel self worth. Freedom from fear.
”You make all the choices in your life.” You are the Master. So choose well.
”Unconditional love...” Oh wau. I loved this one. It really moved me and I read every word on those pages twice :)
”You do not love what your enemy did but you love the spirit that is inside the idiot that can't get anything done right...” (Finnish will just not translate easily today)
The perfect life is: coming to clarity about what you want.
At the end of the book Wayne teaches Sound Meditation. It's the method of using Aah and Umm sounds while meditating. I'm not sure if I can find a place in our house where I can test this in the morning and at night... I might sound like a cat in heat if I do it in the sauna?
But like I said earlier:
I listen to his words (on youtube) and read his books every week. Oh gosh.
Wayne Dyer is one of my most loved authors <3
The most important thing to me right now is the FEELING I have right now: I can always choose a better feeling thought :) So by (always) choosing a better feeling thought I can make my day into a forever expanding paradise as I just keep at it... and it’s not even hard. Feeling GOOD is not painful :)
Have you read his books, watched his videos or listened to his audios?
Share your inspirations with me!
Miia
miia@sheisaleader.com
Less drinking a sexy mother makes – How I put the cork on it and quit drinking
I'm cleaning up my computer and I'll dump some of my old material over here to La Femme FITale...
I’ve always thought of myself as a “fun drinker”, drinking when having fun and having fun when drinking. It was never the REASON for fun but Oh boy was it a KICKER to get that first beer down, and after that, it was smooth riding to the sunset with some nice red wine or more cold beer or some local weird alcohol beverage…
Once I actually tried the “drinking for sorrow” thing just to get the FEELING of being chemically hugged by a molecule… didn’t last too long… a couple of times in my life I’ve also tried the “drinking to relax into the flow” thing, too. I’ve also tried it to write better, I’ve tried it to sleep better, I’ve tried it to paint art better and fix a VCR better and cook better and look sexier and walk faster and MEDITATE DEEPER -HAH!
And the answer has always been: Nope didn’t work… Maybe next time
That “next time” idea always came the next week or however long it took for the little Alcohol demon to wake up again and start dancing around in my head so it could get me to eat some sugar and dance with it… this sounds loony but I swear it was always more about the sugar!
Once I actually tried the “drinking for sorrow” thing just to get the FEELING of being chemically hugged by a molecule… didn’t last too long… a couple of times in my life I’ve also tried the “drinking to relax into the flow” thing, too. I’ve also tried it to write better, I’ve tried it to sleep better, I’ve tried it to paint art better and fix a VCR better and cook better and look sexier and walk faster and MEDITATE DEEPER -HAH!
And the answer has always been: Nope didn’t work… Maybe next time
That “next time” idea always came the next week or however long it took for the little Alcohol demon to wake up again and start dancing around in my head so it could get me to eat some sugar and dance with it… this sounds loony but I swear it was always more about the sugar!
And about that SUGAR… gosh. Sure my body looked like a runway model on some mornings when I hadn’t eaten well the night before and my body fat % was low from losing a lot of water, too… but uuuh 
after a month of having wine on weekends and some beer on Wednesdays I noticed how everything was getting soft and saggy. Aaargh!
It took SO MUCH out of me (and time!) just to get the softness off at the gym and with clean eating. Sometimes I would schedule a photoshoot for myself and since I always like to look good in them I had the perfect reason to quit sweets and fruit and yummy stuff (including all sugar drinks) for OVER a month just to get my body back to looking the way I want it to look. It was never a big change in the mirror: some fat off the butt and thighs and a cleaner skin color with shiny hair, but I felt the change in my spirit and energy levels
I remember wondering last year if I should just book 4 photo shoots every year to keep leaner and fit all year round!
after a month of having wine on weekends and some beer on Wednesdays I noticed how everything was getting soft and saggy. Aaargh!It took SO MUCH out of me (and time!) just to get the softness off at the gym and with clean eating. Sometimes I would schedule a photoshoot for myself and since I always like to look good in them I had the perfect reason to quit sweets and fruit and yummy stuff (including all sugar drinks) for OVER a month just to get my body back to looking the way I want it to look. It was never a big change in the mirror: some fat off the butt and thighs and a cleaner skin color with shiny hair, but I felt the change in my spirit and energy levels
I remember wondering last year if I should just book 4 photo shoots every year to keep leaner and fit all year round!
So, back to drinking and to the ability to just STOP doing it.
My first lo-oong break was when I did my fitness competitions. That was a good enough reason but it didn’t last long since I knew that I would enjoy a full bottle of fine wine after the last competition. So it wasn’t really something you might call a “refreshing break from booze”. More a “time off to do squats with a hunger for the darn victory bottle and cake and bananas and some more cake…” My inspiration for fitness just wasn’t a good enough reason.
My first lo-oong break was when I did my fitness competitions. That was a good enough reason but it didn’t last long since I knew that I would enjoy a full bottle of fine wine after the last competition. So it wasn’t really something you might call a “refreshing break from booze”. More a “time off to do squats with a hunger for the darn victory bottle and cake and bananas and some more cake…” My inspiration for fitness just wasn’t a good enough reason.
My second REALLY long break came when I found out I was pregnant. It was an easy decision to not have that glass of red wine with my steak or ever sugar drinks or any alcohol and unhealthy stuff at all. Oh gosh, was it a LOOONG LIST of stuff I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink! But happily, I had a wonderful pregnancy and after kiddo was about 7-8 months, I stopped breastfeeding him and slowly got back to having an occasional beer in the sauna and that glass of red wine with red meat came back and all sorts of parties got interesting again because I could stay up later (the sugar rush gave me insane powers to keep my eyes open after 11 pm).
Kiddo popped out through my belly, so it took a while to get my abs back in order. I didn’t really do any special exercise for the first month and a half. I just ate right and walked a lot. I lost some fat and gained little muscle mass actually. So the diet was perfect for that time of my life But eventually, I got to the point where I wasn’t happy with my body (again) and I felt like I needed a change. I wanted to go cold turkey on everything unhealthy but since I had planned this fitness challenge to be really hard and wanted to make a point with myself I kind of “ruined the surprise” for my body and I also watered down my normal Midsummer night’s party by going to bed early on both nights and just sipping my last beer in the sauna and not even getting wild enough to swim in the freezing lake… in the morning I just looked bloated and red in the face… oh boy. That sight in the mirror was enough to take anyone of beer and BBQ food, and burn your bikinis! ;D
But eventually, I got to the point where I wasn’t happy with my body (again) and I felt like I needed a change. I wanted to go cold turkey on everything unhealthy but since I had planned this fitness challenge to be really hard and wanted to make a point with myself I kind of “ruined the surprise” for my body and I also watered down my normal Midsummer night’s party by going to bed early on both nights and just sipping my last beer in the sauna and not even getting wild enough to swim in the freezing lake… in the morning I just looked bloated and red in the face… oh boy. That sight in the mirror was enough to take anyone of beer and BBQ food, and burn your bikinis! ;D
So we come to the pivoting point of this story and that is: “Do ONLY that which feels good in your heart and you shall have success in life.”
It felt good to plan for physical success (a healthier, nicer, leaner body) and it felt really good to be accountable for it (I had photo shoots and I got an expensive personal trainer so I couldn’t retrace my steps and sneak back to being the “naughty mama behind the sauna”). I truly believed that I was living like I WANTED to live so there was no discord between my actions and the way the outside world took me in. No one felt the need to criticize me for not drinking like I had feared in the beginning… I had even practiced many different scenarios where I would have to defend my right to choose a better feeling morning!
It felt good to plan for physical success (a healthier, nicer, leaner body) and it felt really good to be accountable for it (I had photo shoots and I got an expensive personal trainer so I couldn’t retrace my steps and sneak back to being the “naughty mama behind the sauna”). I truly believed that I was living like I WANTED to live so there was no discord between my actions and the way the outside world took me in. No one felt the need to criticize me for not drinking like I had feared in the beginning… I had even practiced many different scenarios where I would have to defend my right to choose a better feeling morning!
Eventually, my fears died, and as I looked back at my sober summer it felt like my HABITS had changed overnight! Maybe it was the magic of Midsummer’s eve and the Sun that just wouldn’t set that changed my mindset so profoundly, I don’t know… but I DO KNOW that it all started in my Definite Decision to make the change. I wasn’t overweight, I wasn’t having problems with alcohol and I wasn’t told to stop nor did people find my choices to be in any way interesting or fun… I just WANTED IT FOR MYSELF so I WENT OUT AND GOT IT.
Since I made the commitment (to not drink alcohol anymore) life got very energetic and I have enjoyed my early weekend mornings much more 
– I can easily walk past a wall of beer and other nice adult drinks in the grocery store and not feel a thing. It was like that from DAY 1! (But the bread shelves were harder to pass… I like bread.)
– I can spend time with friends at a party that serves free alcohol (my favorite) and still not feel anything that might mean I’m feeling regret or pain by drinking water and tea. (But water and tea combined do mean running off to the toilet all night long… so-ooo, nothing’s changed.)
– My only regret has been to not bring my own water bottle sometimes. Some places serve the normal folk just fine but people like ME, the nondrinkers, are left to drink out of the tap in the toilet…
– I can easily walk past a wall of beer and other nice adult drinks in the grocery store and not feel a thing. It was like that from DAY 1! (But the bread shelves were harder to pass… I like bread.)
– I can spend time with friends at a party that serves free alcohol (my favorite) and still not feel anything that might mean I’m feeling regret or pain by drinking water and tea. (But water and tea combined do mean running off to the toilet all night long… so-ooo, nothing’s changed.)
– My only regret has been to not bring my own water bottle sometimes. Some places serve the normal folk just fine but people like ME, the nondrinkers, are left to drink out of the tap in the toilet…
So what’s my secret? What is Your number one takeaway from this blog post so YOU TOO can be a nondrinker (or something like that) from now on if you want to?
Here it is:
KNOW YOUR WHY
Know where you are: Write down WHY you drink and how often.
Then write down WHY you want to cut down or stop.
Be clear about your vision! Use strong words and Respect yourself in every sentence.
Know where you are: Write down WHY you drink and how often.
Then write down WHY you want to cut down or stop.
Be clear about your vision! Use strong words and Respect yourself in every sentence.
CONNECT EMOTIONALLY TO YOUR BODY
Meditate and feel good about you physical body, enjoy its ability to heal itself and relax.
Eat well and eat healthily, drink a lot of water (none of that 5 little cups per day crap: drink 4 liters per day and see how it feels… then scale it to your usage and keep it as a habit)
Meditate and feel good about you physical body, enjoy its ability to heal itself and relax.
Eat well and eat healthily, drink a lot of water (none of that 5 little cups per day crap: drink 4 liters per day and see how it feels… then scale it to your usage and keep it as a habit)
TELL A NEW STORY
Tell the story of your life the way you want it to be remembered.
Emphasize the change it made when you cut down/quit drinking alcohol.
Tell that story to yourself several times per day and FEEL courageous.
Tell the story of your life the way you want it to be remembered.
Emphasize the change it made when you cut down/quit drinking alcohol.
Tell that story to yourself several times per day and FEEL courageous.
For example:
“I used to drink at parties and I never wanted to be the driver. I loved staying up late and just felt like dying the day after… I didn’t like my clothes much and I ate junk food because I was lazy.
I want to show my body that I appreciate it and love it much more than this. I want to stand straight and show up early to a yoga class on Saturday mornings! I love myself and there is no reason to not let it show. I have wonderful friends who will love to go jogging with me, and we have a garden at home that I really want to freshen up with new plants and a little corner for my mom’s favorite roses.
I will make it my Definite Decision to find happiness in my life TODAY instead of waiting for it to come to me when I’m “all dressed up with a drink in my hand and nowhere to go”. I am done with joking around in my life about “nothing good ever happening to me”. I AM THAT GOOD THAT IS HAPPENING IN MY LIFE! I am ready and willing, and so be it.”
“I used to drink at parties and I never wanted to be the driver. I loved staying up late and just felt like dying the day after… I didn’t like my clothes much and I ate junk food because I was lazy.
I want to show my body that I appreciate it and love it much more than this. I want to stand straight and show up early to a yoga class on Saturday mornings! I love myself and there is no reason to not let it show. I have wonderful friends who will love to go jogging with me, and we have a garden at home that I really want to freshen up with new plants and a little corner for my mom’s favorite roses.
I will make it my Definite Decision to find happiness in my life TODAY instead of waiting for it to come to me when I’m “all dressed up with a drink in my hand and nowhere to go”. I am done with joking around in my life about “nothing good ever happening to me”. I AM THAT GOOD THAT IS HAPPENING IN MY LIFE! I am ready and willing, and so be it.”
To your happiness and success in life,
Miia
Miia
Thursday, September 22, 2016
Hanging out with Dana Linn Bailey
I went to see her another time. We talked about stuff (life in general and the abilities to bring dreams to life just by living them out...)
She gave me a hug and we parted ways.
For some reason, her hair was a mess. And I mean it was horrible. Her hairdresser had cut a bit off from the front. It kept sticking out and she felt bad about it.
We didn't discuss it...
I wonder what my dream was trying to say... :)
She gave me a hug and we parted ways.
For some reason, her hair was a mess. And I mean it was horrible. Her hairdresser had cut a bit off from the front. It kept sticking out and she felt bad about it.
We didn't discuss it...
I wonder what my dream was trying to say... :)
Wednesday, August 31, 2016
Playing Ninjas with Dana Linn Bailey
They had a big party last night... at the Warhouse Gym.
I met Dana again and we talked excitedly about their new play areas that had big metal swings hanging from the roof and large areas of trampolines and soft mattresses where people could jump around and do tricks :)
Dana said that the Key to her happiness in bodybuilding (and life in general) was the Feeling of freedom that she had when she swung high up in the air and didn't let herself fall... her arms hurt and she felt sick sometimes but she never quit when it got hard, she always stayed up there until She Was Ready to come down. She never came back down if she felt bad or sick, she always enjoyed her stay up there and that's why she kept going back. That's what kept her hungry for more.
:)
I asked: "But isn't it a constant struggle then? Don't you wish it could be easier and don't you miss the feeling of just letting go of everything and just flying through the air (for a short while)?"
Dana: "No, that's not what it's about, no no no... what I do up there might feel hard on the joints at first but the point IS to let go of the hurt! The point IS to stop focusing on the circumstances and the situation and... START focusing on the Feelings you have up there! It's actually a wonderful way to teach yourself to think more clearly and to Focus on just ONE THING. What ever you choose it to be... and don't worry if you fall or if your mind wanders. It's all good. You can't get it wrong and you'll never get it done. Right ;)"
Me: "Right! :)"
Friday, August 26, 2016
How to be sick in style
Don't allow anyone to put pants on ya.
Refuse help.
Pass out wherever.
Stay optimistic that if it is cerial you want it is cerial you get, on every meal...
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
Natzies and "dying"
The dream changed me for good...
I've been worried about death these last years. Maybe the last 3-4 years. I'm not worried I'll get it wrong or fxck it up somehow, I'm just having (or WAS having) problems with Feeling OK about "losing and being lost". I miss some people that have made the transfer back to nonphysical. I know they are Perfectly happy and I should be too, but I still cry sometimes and I don't understand Why...
Until I listened to a tape where a woman told me in plain English that my crying is just a sign of "letting go of resistance": My thoughts are not what I feel deep inside me, so to let go of those "lies" (I have lost loved ones and they cannot reach me either) I need more time to shift my belief and more relaxation to allow the real truth to come out.
Like I said : my DREAM, last night, showed me I am ready, now.
It had been a long day and night. We had climbed up the mountain side to the beautiful gray castle, "The Sleeping Bride" it was called... and we were there to blow her up. All the bombs had been prepped and we had the timers in our hands when the Natzies found us in their wine cellar.
20 Natzies. No way out. Just a shit-load of explosives and the two of us holding the key to doom.
It took us but a second to decide:"Yes, we're blowing us all up..." I was there with a man. The best agent in his field. I trusted him. I remember even having warm feelings for him the moment before we died (or was it after...). He was someone who I Enjoyed sharing this end with.
I remember being hunched down behind some wine barrels with an old climbing helmet on. It felt stupid to have a helmet on but we were supposed to climb back down after we had finished our task. I kept my head to the ground and wished for a swift and painless end. As the first waves of pressure and fire blew over us, I had time to push against them with my feet but as I heard my friend say :"I think I'm a bit scared." We were already floating in white light and everything was alright. Everything was perfect. Everything was all Love.
We were home again. We were awake again.
And we were together.
Our energies were pure and Joyful.
The dream never showed me the Natzies that blew up with us but I know everyone comes back to the white light. We do not carry Anything back there. No luggage. No past. Nothing to declare. Nothing to forgive. All is remembered and all is good.
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