Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Less drinking a sexy mother makes – How I put the cork on it and quit drinking

I'm cleaning up my computer and I'll dump some of my old material over here to La Femme FITale...

I’ve always thought of myself as a “fun drinker”, drinking when having fun and having fun when drinking. It was never the REASON for fun but Oh boy was it a KICKER to get that first beer down, and after that, it was smooth riding to the sunset with some nice red wine or more cold beer or some local weird alcohol beverage…
Once I actually tried the “drinking for sorrow” thing just to get the FEELING of being chemically hugged by a molecule… didn’t last too long… a couple of times in my life I’ve also tried the “drinking to relax into the flow” thing, too. I’ve also tried it to write better, I’ve tried it to sleep better, I’ve tried it to paint art better and fix a VCR better and cook better and look sexier and walk faster and MEDITATE DEEPER -HAH!
And the answer has always been: Nope didn’t work… Maybe next time 😉
That “next time” idea always came the next week or however long it took for the little Alcohol demon to wake up again and start dancing around in my head so it could get me to eat some sugar and dance with it… this sounds loony but I swear it was always more about the sugar!
And about that SUGAR… gosh. Sure my body looked like a runway model on some mornings when I hadn’t eaten well the night before and my body fat % was low from losing a lot of water, too… but uuuh 🙁 after a month of having wine on weekends and some beer on Wednesdays I noticed how everything was getting soft and saggy. Aaargh!
It took SO MUCH out of me (and time!) just to get the softness off at the gym and with clean eating. Sometimes I would schedule a photoshoot for myself and since I always like to look good in them I had the perfect reason to quit sweets and fruit and yummy stuff (including all sugar drinks) for OVER a month just to get my body back to looking the way I want it to look. It was never a big change in the mirror: some fat off the butt and thighs and a cleaner skin color with shiny hair, but I felt the change in my spirit and energy levels 🙂
I remember wondering last year if I should just book 4 photo shoots every year to keep leaner and fit all year round!
So, back to drinking and to the ability to just STOP doing it.
My first lo-oong break was when I did my fitness competitions. That was a good enough reason but it didn’t last long since I knew that I would enjoy a full bottle of fine wine after the last competition. So it wasn’t really something you might call a “refreshing break from booze”. More a “time off to do squats with a hunger for the darn victory bottle and cake and bananas and some more cake…” My inspiration for fitness just wasn’t a good enough reason.
My second REALLY long break came when I found out I was pregnant. It was an easy decision to not have that glass of red wine with my steak or ever sugar drinks or any alcohol and unhealthy stuff at all. Oh gosh, was it a LOOONG LIST of stuff I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink! But happily, I had a wonderful pregnancy and after kiddo was about 7-8 months, I stopped breastfeeding him and slowly got back to having an occasional beer in the sauna and that glass of red wine with red meat came back and all sorts of parties got interesting again because I could stay up later (the sugar rush gave me insane powers to keep my eyes open after 11 pm).
Kiddo popped out through my belly, so it took a while to get my abs back in order. I didn’t really do any special exercise for the first month and a half. I just ate right and walked a lot. I lost some fat and gained little muscle mass actually. So the diet was perfect for that time of my life 🙂 But eventually, I got to the point where I wasn’t happy with my body (again) and I felt like I needed a change. I wanted to go cold turkey on everything unhealthy but since I had planned this fitness challenge to be really hard and wanted to make a point with myself I kind of “ruined the surprise” for my body and I also watered down my normal Midsummer night’s party by going to bed early on both nights and just sipping my last beer in the sauna and not even getting wild enough to swim in the freezing lake… in the morning I just looked bloated and red in the face… oh boy. That sight in the mirror was enough to take anyone of beer and BBQ food, and burn your bikinis! ;D
So we come to the pivoting point of this story and that is: “Do ONLY that which feels good in your heart and you shall have success in life.”
It felt good to plan for physical success (a healthier, nicer, leaner body) and it felt really good to be accountable for it (I had photo shoots and I got an expensive personal trainer so I couldn’t retrace my steps and sneak back to being the “naughty mama behind the sauna”). I truly believed that I was living like I WANTED to live so there was no discord between my actions and the way the outside world took me in. No one felt the need to criticize me for not drinking like I had feared in the beginning… I had even practiced many different scenarios where I would have to defend my right to choose a better feeling morning!
Eventually, my fears died, and as I looked back at my sober summer it felt like my HABITS had changed overnight! Maybe it was the magic of Midsummer’s eve and the Sun that just wouldn’t set that changed my mindset so profoundly, I don’t know… but I DO KNOW that it all started in my Definite Decision to make the change. I wasn’t overweight, I wasn’t having problems with alcohol and I wasn’t told to stop nor did people find my choices to be in any way interesting or fun… I just WANTED IT FOR MYSELF so I WENT OUT AND GOT IT.
Since I made the commitment (to not drink alcohol anymore) life got very energetic and I have enjoyed my early weekend mornings much more 😀
– I can easily walk past a wall of beer and other nice adult drinks in the grocery store and not feel a thing. It was like that from DAY 1! (But the bread shelves were harder to pass… I like bread.)
– I can spend time with friends at a party that serves free alcohol (my favorite) and still not feel anything that might mean I’m feeling regret or pain by drinking water and tea. (But water and tea combined do mean running off to the toilet all night long… so-ooo, nothing’s changed.)
– My only regret has been to not bring my own water bottle sometimes. Some places serve the normal folk just fine but people like ME, the nondrinkers, are left to drink out of the tap in the toilet…
So what’s my secret? What is Your number one takeaway from this blog post so YOU TOO can be a nondrinker (or something like that) from now on if you want to?
Here it is:
KNOW YOUR WHY
Know where you are: Write down WHY you drink and how often.
Then write down WHY you want to cut down or stop.
Be clear about your vision! Use strong words and Respect yourself in every sentence.
CONNECT EMOTIONALLY TO YOUR BODY
Meditate and feel good about you physical body, enjoy its ability to heal itself and relax.
Eat well and eat healthily, drink a lot of water (none of that 5 little cups per day crap: drink 4 liters per day and see how it feels… then scale it to your usage and keep it as a habit)
TELL A NEW STORY
Tell the story of your life the way you want it to be remembered.
Emphasize the change it made when you cut down/quit drinking alcohol.
Tell that story to yourself several times per day and FEEL courageous.
For example:
“I used to drink at parties and I never wanted to be the driver. I loved staying up late and just felt like dying the day after… I didn’t like my clothes much and I ate junk food because I was lazy.
I want to show my body that I appreciate it and love it much more than this. I want to stand straight and show up early to a yoga class on Saturday mornings! I love myself and there is no reason to not let it show. I have wonderful friends who will love to go jogging with me, and we have a garden at home that I really want to freshen up with new plants and a little corner for my mom’s favorite roses.
I will make it my Definite Decision to find happiness in my life TODAY instead of waiting for it to come to me when I’m “all dressed up with a drink in my hand and nowhere to go”. I am done with joking around in my life about “nothing good ever happening to me”. I AM THAT GOOD THAT IS HAPPENING IN MY LIFE! I am ready and willing, and so be it.”
To your happiness and success in life,
Miia
Did you like what you read?
How do you feel about drinking?
Drop me an email and let’s talk more. 😉
miia@sheisaleader.com

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