Last week kiddo and I were home alone for the night... I fired up the sauna and as we waited for it to warm up we played in the living room (board games and puzzles), and kiddo kept farting like a silent, over fed ninja. Horrible.
Our sauna is pretty small. It's a 3 seater (or you can fit 4 small adults there but usually it's nicer to have some private space while naked and stuffed into a hot room) so there's lots of room for a small female and a 2,5 year old. I had some problems with the wood (some of it was still wet and snowy) so I rushed naked to the garage to get some more cardboard paper to keep the fire alive and burning on all sectors. I cut my right index finger (my best finger!) while ripping the paper and ended up having a really hard time (suddenly) using just the rest 9 to wash off my makeup... at that time I smelled it. Poop.
"Did you fart again, honey?" I asked. Kiddo had climbed to the top of the sauna and sat there looking like he didn't know what to say. I saw he had a big turd between his legs. "Oh, honey... Mummy will clean it up."
I lifted him out from the sauna -half blind from the makeup remover- and turned him around so I could clean his butt easier. I couldn't clean him in the shower 'cause it was stuffed with bath toys and the bath was just filling up for the baby.
So there I was, poop and wood chips and shit and stuff all over my hands and favourite finger, eyes watering and burning... Water running, poop smelling in the -soon to be- hot sauna and kiddo kept yanking on his penis.
Well. Long story short... this was not the end.
I did clean the sauna. The smell disappeared and kiddo climbed back up there to play with his water pistol (not his penis… why did I even write this?). I washed my hands, got the bath ready, wonderred if I should put a towel over my hair while in the sauna, and then I smelled it. Poop.
De ja vu, or whatever.
"Did you poop again, honey?" I asked. Kiddo was sitting like a mermaid on the top of the sauna and smiled like a small puppy. I saw he had a little turd by his other leg. "Oh, honey... Mummy will clean it up."
Lift baby up, clean baby up, shit and dirt in my best finger’s wound, clean the sauna, the smell disappears in minutes (or maybe we just got used to it, oh my gosh) and get back to whatever we were doing... bathing? Gosh...
So here is the moral of the story (if you're not too grossed out by it already and have moved on to google "Finns in sauna" videos by now):
- First: there is always a way to proceed happily in any moment of your life. If you chose to freeze and do nothing the world would simply leave you behind. So take action through inspiration to help everyone! Do not throw blame around or get angry about the past. The past is not HERE. You are. So choose to help and you shall be helped too.
- Second: Smile. Little mistakes come and go and sometimes you're already a bit hurt (like my index finger - but that was my fault 'cause I hurried with the ripping of the cardboard). We had a wonderful time in the sauna and neither one of us felt like we needed to talk or even laugh about the pooping that night. It was a funny story, but that's all. (I am SO telling when I meet his best girlfriend - or boyfriend)
About my other topic: "Did I just have a melt down"
I had a horrible end of the week. By horrible I mean I couldn't reach clarity or happiness for some reason. HOnestly, I felt depressed (and that is a BIG FEELING)
Today, two days later, I am much wiser and I understand that several reasons affected those 1,5 days and gave me “reasons”to feel like I had lost all connection to my inner source.
One: my periods were right around the corner (this has been the “reason” so many times that I WILL do my best to fix it in the future! REmember. I get a chance to fix it once a month! Oh joy!)
Two: I had been forced to reschedule an appointment that I had been waiting for with MEga eager and Super delight… hmm, I guess I need to work on my Allowing more ;)
Three: I hadn’t been meditating in the morning for few days (I had pushed it to later in the day). Yeah… like I could be too busy at 6am to NOT meditate :D
My “melt down” looked like a very tired person trying to get up but constantly falling flat on her ass because she couldn’t understand/remember that “it is not in the ACTION, it is in the alignment with the source inside you, that matters, and gives you the power to get up and GO.” :)
I love learning and I enjoy living my life as a non-perfect person. I know that when I feel despair or remorse, I will always find my way back to Alignment. And I know that when I can’t seem to keep my hold on the better feeling thought, that it will get better as I LET GO of the oars and just allow the good to flow, no matter how slowly it would seem to turn my boat that day.
The one thing that eventually kicked me out of the dark last Friday was my ability to take some time for myself and just read about meditation. I didn’t even have time to meditate but I had time to read about the good things that happen when you meditate… and as I started feeling better, things started going better and I got happy again and I’ve been in bliss since then :)
We’ll see what Monday morning brings with it… I’m expecting wonderful things from that day :)
What do you expect from your days to come?