Party smart

It's both a warm day and the sun came out :)

Kiddo is very tired... too many games to play ;)

I don't feel anything

It has come to my knowledge -again- that I am unable to use any kind of hormonal birth control. 

So fxck that. 

If my body turns into an unfeeling, super strong machine that doesn't give a fxck about anything or anyone when I'm on some kind of female hormone then I will rather quit early than try to hang in there and hope that everything will be ok some day. .....

My leg day was one of the best ever BUT I don't need a great 2 hours if the rest of the day is cold and empty. 

The Fat lady don't sing, no.

That pink ball is my belly.
I'm still on a mission to get a bit "fat" so I can get VERY BIG.

It's not easy. I'm still under 60kg.
I'm even thinking about cheating. .... eating super fatty foods and pizza on every Friday. .... ;)

But they make my a bit sick and then I under eat like a bird the next day. .... so no point in cheating. ....

Oh yes..... those female bits are broken Again. I must have somekinds of beta versions in there 'cause they work exactly the wrong way around. I wouldn't even be surprised if I got pregnant again. God damn baby machine  :/

Stupid female bits.
I'm going to see the doc again. She'll know what to do.

Live, learn, wtf...

I've been testing again.
Instead of taking my usual cocktail of "wake me ups" before a work out I've started drinking a basic "2 scoops of protein + 1 scoop of carbs" in 0,4l of water...
Well it WORKS.
I HAVE CRAZY MORE ENERGY AT THE GYM. I can lift the World up if I want to ;)

So I think I'll stick to this new found energy source and forget about the old way of eating a heavy lunch, waiting 2-3 hours and then taking my pre workout and the warming up my muscles slowly ans steadily. .... fxck that.
Drink it, lift it, slam it, enjoy it.

:)

On shaky legs

I gave it all I could that day, that leg day. Had I only eaten more that day I could have given it even More... more and more. Always more.

Nothing ever seems enough without the "more" added later... the added "more" gives me the right to come back and do more, live more, blow shit up more and kill it...

...More...
I love you.

Letting go

Letting go of loved ones...
Sometimes my dreams tell me sad stories. I'm forced to let go of old friendships or lovers... my dreams don't tell things straight up. They hint about people, sometimes they show faces and those people tell me their goodbyes...
But the reality is that I'm actually talking to myself. I'm saying goodbye to my old self. My old lifestyles or habits or needs. I'm growing every day. Every day is a gift.
Never stop growing. Never settle. Never say "this is the best I can do with my life".

Never stop living.
:)

I feel nothing

What does it feel like to rest and stay awake at the same time?... to sleep and work...

When the body sleeps but the mind wonders in valleys and flys over hillsides with more things and stuff and ideas piling up under it's shadow.

I rarely stay awake half the night. For some reason I still feel well rested and mostly happy the next morning.
It might have something to do with the ability to solve most of my "problems" that night... :)

I'm better

Oh boy these pics turn to crap after I upload them... 4G my ass.

Well I didn't star this blog to make a statement trough my pictures...

It was my first chest day for the week and I kept surprising myself :)

I could grab dumbbells up to 21kg and still do a GOOD set in the incline bench, I had no problems when doing my one hand rows on a 36kg db and when it was time to finish off with a upright row I stuck the pin to 50kg and did a great set :)

I don't know what the hell I'm on but it works ;)

On the other hand my body is still going through some kind of a post pregnancy shit that is totally fuxking up my skin :( on a bad day my face looks like I don't even have a driving licence yet :(

It's my birthday

The end

Sometimes the end just comes.
I don't know what happened this time but I started yawning at the gym. It's a leg day so I need energy. All the energy.
So I stopped...
I finished my -nearly done- workout with some deep abs and I left.
I went home to eat.

I need energy to grow. It doesn't help to push like a moron when the sled is empty... nothing gets moved and I just use up good energy to grow. I did my squats Well and all the other stuff too :) all I need to do is eat and rest and even this "more than half ready" leg day will bring me results.

And on the plus side:
I've grown out of yet another shirt :) it's one of my running shirts so it not the type to shrink in the wash; )

Give it your all... and then go home and grow

Narrow squat 100kg x4

Yeah, baby.
I'm not done yet!

Keep it clean. Keep it interesting. Keep it heavy.
Fxck gravity.

Take the bus

I took the bus today with baba. We went down town...
To the "big city".
It was our first time on a local bus and I felt sick from the get go...
Kiddo was ok. He just did his thing ;)

I was green by the time we arrived at the last stop.

Just as well....
I'll be green again tonight at the gym 'cause it's leg day again! ;)

Boobs baby

Gonna get my bench press max up.
Just wait 3 months! ;)

Got a new program, see.
Gonna use it to the max, see.
It ain't got no bench press in it at all, see.

We'll see...

Must wait

Summer might come some day... first I have to wait for Spring.
Waiting won't make it come any sooner.

I wait for a lot of things... emails, programmes, coffee to cool and the shower to get warmer...

Kiddo doesn't know about waiting yet. He doesn't need to know.

Gravity

Leg day. Twice a week.
Keep it clean they said. Keep it light and focus on the feel they said...

Sorry.

Leg press 310kg x6
;)

Stupid crap

Chest day done.
I feel weak.
Skin all fxcked up. Stupid hormones. Hormones go home!
Or at least stop fxcking up my face!

Push it up

Bench press max just in... 55kg

Hmmm... I was hoping for 60kg since I weigh 60kg.
Oh well... it's a good start :)

Wheels

I'm putting some serious thought into my leg days.

How much is too much rest

My focus is in my legs.
My rest is mostly for my legs.

But in real life... I rest 'cause I am home alone with baba and this week I'm too lazy to do workouts at home. I do a lot of muscle maintenance and I eat as much as I can.

I'm enjoying life with the little guy <3

He loves to climb on me and stand around the house dancing and "talking".... .. (his fingerprints are all over the house!)

Plan A

All I have to do is

Keep kiddo safe and help him grow.

:)

<3

Everything else I'm doing is just extra fun ;)

Wouldn't you...

I've so had it with ...

The rain

I woke up to this going around and around in my head: "Nobody goes anywhere. Spring falls down everywhere."
It went on and on and on...

I stod by a lighthouse ...some where. Light rain and the smell of a vast blue sea. The sky was half clear and a lady in a beige trench coat was talking to me. Her voice got lost in the turf.
She had a turquoise scarf around her neck. She was very pretty.

Just moments ago I had been stuck in a parking garage. Parking in the cellar was 18e per day and on all the other floors it was 24e per day. But a lady told me that there was a 20min waiting list: it would take me 20min to find an empty spot no matter what I did.

Do it better

Pre - workouts... I use some.
Sometimes it's just coffee and an apple. Sometimes it's some pink powder from a can.

The truth of the matter is: NO pre - workout will make your muscles grow.

If I need extra energy to get my butt to the gym I'll use an energy drink for sure. But to get my pump and to feel the burn I don't think I need anything more than a GOOD workout :) ...now for the Growing part... that's where things get interesting and important. That's where the magic is, in the recovery phase ;) eat right, eat enough and eat every day. You can take days off from the gym but you can't take days off from your body.

I'm following a leg program I found in Flex.
I'm in week 3 out of 8.
But like usual I found something Very interesting and I want to try it... a "squat every day" program for a month... (bodybuilding.com) grrr... I  should wait until I have finished this first one first. It's not like I could do them both at the same time, right? ;)

Easter this...

Easter is quite useless.
To me I mean.
Even when I used to work I didn't need this Easter thingy for anything.

I went to the gym tonight. I snapped my back (C7 again) while doing my shoulder work out.

It just made me work harder...

The Temple

Build, fix, enlarge... my body, my temple.

Sometimes I wonder how much I would suffer if I lost a limb.
Any car crash could cut me up into bits... any dog bite or spooky spider in Africa could cost me a part of my physique...

I wonder if kiddo will stay safe all his life?
I wonder if he'll ever work with people who used to have a full life but now are a shadow of who they deserve to be...
I wonder if he'll see a war up close... I wonder if he'll love a person and then see them leave...

I wonder if he'll ever hate me for bringing him to this world?

***

I came to the gym tonight to work on my back but my legs are so stiff that it's better to concentrate on bringing them to life :)